I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the liver wants what the liver wants
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize