Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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