Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
You're like the curious george of whores
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
