Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
