I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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