Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Randomize
