the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize