The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
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