a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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