Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
