Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
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