you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
