my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
