Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
