seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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