Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Randomize
