Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
