carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
