I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I'm bleeding and have questions
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
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