There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize