I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize