He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
