if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
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