Pappa wants mamma naked
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Randomize