The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
