HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize