At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
