there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
