I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
