i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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