He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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