I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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