Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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