we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
this beer tastes like vomit already
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
