how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Randomize
