I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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