You just made me feel so damn special
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Randomize
