Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Of course I have a pirate flag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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