Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
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