Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
