would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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