i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize