week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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