whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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