waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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