He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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