He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
