we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
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