It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
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