Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
