hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize