I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
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