Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Randomize
