Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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