i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize