I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
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