Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
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