That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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