Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
