The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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