He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize