I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Two words: blizzard sex
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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